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more religious junk mail

Woohoo! Time to make fun of pathetic people!

Is that mean-spirited?

I get this envelope, I gotta tell ya, the envelope itself is enough to make me want to puke.

and

I mean, what a joke. They are loaning it to me? They don't even know me. If they did, they wouldn't bother. And frankly, as will be quite clear, nothing in this envelope has ever been used before. It's all straight off the printer. And I betchya, when the church gets some of these back, they are going to simple destroy them... possibly with some ceremony, but destroy them nonetheless. That isn't really "loaning".

One the inside, I find a couple of things. First, is the return envelope:



That just funny. One has to wonder what the mail carriers think when they see this in their bin. What happens if they send it next week???

Then here's our fun letter!




There is a part of me that is inclined to show this to my computer students. We are talking this week about word processing vs. desktop publishing, and frankly, this is one of the worst examples I've ever seen. Here's what NOT to do, kids! I mean it looks wild and frenetic at best. And the content! How do you anoint a paper prayer rug without leaving water stains? I don't get the deal with leaving it around for one night only. Where is that in the Bible? And if God know everything, why all this nonsense? And of course, their list at the bottom of needs are precious in and of themselves. A closer walk with Jesus? Hell, no. I want the car!!! :)

Here's our pretty prayer rug... it's too big for the scanner, though, but you get the idea.





Well, this all pretty useless. I mean, when they sent me a "prayer handkerchief", I could use it as stationary or something. This... I don't have a printer big enough. And I can't exactly send something out with Jesus' face on it. And notice the little note from the bottom of the front of this... if you stare at it, the eyes will open? Some optical illusion, probably. There are some very subtle shadows on this eyelids that suggest this.

The testimonials!




Post hoc, ergo propter hoc, anyone? Prosperity gospel, anyone? How do they explain Bill Gates?

For more comedy, I'm sure, check out the websites they listed: http://www.biblicalprayer.com and http://www.aboutsaintmatthewschurches.com

And then, of course, the prophecies...



Proceed at your own risk!!!




Okay, when am I NOT making a decision about something?? That 4th paragraph is speaking to exactly the kind of vulnerable people that would be sucked in by this nonsense. The whole thing sounds like a long-winded fortune cookie. And we all know just how "prophetic" most of their fortunes are.

images all reduced. Save to your own drive or see my scrapbook for full-size images.

Comments

(Anonymous)
May. 14th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
Nice quote

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income
parents' lives a misery."
"... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears
because of what you just said."
"I want you to picture the face of its mother, because one week's dole won't
pay for one Master of the Universe Battlecruiser!"
-- Filthy Rich and Catflap


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http://xanga.com/perryburnsko
inafoxhole
May. 17th, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
Re: Nice quote
thanks

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